|
27 July, 2005 footnoteI should add to what I wrote earlier today that we don’t have anything like a whole relationship. It’s not something I would recommend to anyone–it’s missing many pieces that most people would find essential. We don’t live together (except when he’s in transition) and we make no plans for a future together. Developments in his life may take him elsewhere in the foreseeable future, and we don’t talk about what we’ll do then. If he has an attractive opportunity, he’ll take it. And there’s no question that I’m tied here–by my work, my family, my friendships. Since what relationship we do have is defined solely by the quality of time we spend together, there won’t be any attempt at a long-distance relationship. We make no promises. We have no commitments to each other, except those of mutual respect and civility. We don’t even sleep the night together, since both of us are light and restless sleepers. Most women (and some men) I know want something far more committed than this sketchy and undefined connection. But I like it. It doesn’t consume me, eat up all my time, all my solitude, all my energy for connecting with friends. It brings pleasure and companionship, but it rests lightly on my life.
|